How I Found the Love of My Life ❤️

The baggage I needed to let go of 💼

I met Pri in July of 2022, on my last day in Portugal 🇵🇹

For the next few years, we would meet in different cities for short periods of time.
A few days here. A few weeks there. Then we would split ways again.

Not because of conflict or of a lack of connection.

Mostly because of conflicting schedules, work, and life moving in different directions.

We were already moving in the same direction, even when life temporarily pulled us apart.

At one point in my life, I was in a relationship with someone else.

I remember thinking how amazing it would be if we could travel the world together.
I imagined helping her find a way to work online, leave her hometown, and start globe-trotting with me.

In my mind, it made perfect sense.
But when push came to shove, she wasn’t ready to leave the job and life she had built in her hometown.

And looking back, I can see something clearly:
A lot of the daydreaming was fueled by my imagination.

I wasn’t fully seeing the person in front of me.
I was seeing the version of her I wanted to create.

At the same time, Pri was already in my life.
She already worked online.
We had already traveled through several countries together.

She already fit the life I was trying so hard to build with someone else.

So I had to ask myself a hard question:
​Why was I trying to force a square peg into a round hole?

That realization hit me.

Mechanics are most valuable around broken cars.

And for a long time, I think part of me wanted to be the mechanic.

I wanted to be around people I perceived as unfinished, stuck, or not fully whole, because then I could feel useful.

I could feel valuable.
I could feel needed.
I could say, “Look, I fixed you. I helped make you whole.”

But the truth is, my ex was never broken.
She was never a car that needed fixing.
She was a perfectly good car for a different driver.

What was broken was not her.
What was broken was my perception that she was a broken fit for me.

The baggage I got to let go of is 3 fold:

1. The belief that other people are not already whole.
2. The belief that fixing someone else is my job.
3. And the gratification I got from being the one who “fixed” them.

That was not love.
That was me trying to receive validation through being useful and doing it by finding false imperfections in others.

To go a layer deeper, my attempt to fix others is simply me not accepting them and this was a reflection of the lack of acceptance I had for myself.

I saw myself as whole if I could make others whole.
In the end, I just needed to accept I am whole, we are all whole.

When I finally started letting go of fixing others and accepting myself, I became available for something much cleaner.

A relationship that didn’t need to be forced.
A relationship that didn’t require me to turn someone into something else.
A relationship where the direction was already shared.

Letting go of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole is what allowed me to recognize the person who already fit my life.

Yes, I am referring to my fiancé as a peg in this analogy, please don’t kill me 😅

Two Years ago, on August 1st, 2024, Pri came to Colombia, and we became permanent travel buddies and made it official!

I have some pictures below if you would like to see our journey!

I love you and have a great Saturday!

- Tom

I love you, babe!
Excited for the rest of our lives together!

I post more about our travels here if you want to follow!